It happened.
One day I was washing cloth diapers and making homemade baby food, and the next, lugging boxes up the stairs to my daughter’s first apartment.

She did it, she up and left me alone, vulnerable and defenseless against her two younger sisters.
I ordered her to stay, she hissed whispered
“Eighteen”

I tried reasoning with her, negotiating, guilt tripping and even begging her to take me with her.

“Finish school first! Save money first! I’ll let you eat candy for breakfast every day if you stay.”
and…
“You can’t leave them here! They’re your sisters!! They’ll eat me alive! PLEASE!”

I clung to her ankles sobbing but she pried my weak and trembling fingers from her feet.

I went over the next day to shop for cleaning supplies and help her clean up the mess from the previous tenants.
I scrubbed inches of grime from the counter tops and washed boiled and bleached the dishes rotting in the sink.

“Thanks mom, I wouldn’t have touched those cups with a ten foot pole. You probably got an STD just touching them.”
She punches me,
“Way to take one for the team!”

There was a cute dresser left in her room but she wouldn’t go near it. Apparently there were men’s socks and underwear left in one of the drawers.

“You could wash it out, paint it and use it for your odds and ends”

“Ewww.. crusty man germs!”

I removed the rejected garments from inside with an ice pick and blow torched the bureau twice for good measure.

After about 5 hours of scraping down the toilet, disinfecting the tub and calling in search and rescue to remove the pubic hairs from the freezer…

that’s right, the freezer,

Julia started fake yawning and pretending that she was ready to pack it in for the night.

“I know you’re happy to have finally moved out Jules but there is a part of me that feels guilty leaving you here alone. Won’t you be lonely and sad? Do you need time to do this gradually? Do you want me to stay here tonight just so…”

“BORN FREE!” Matt Monro croons from YouTube and Jules cranks the volume on her laptop.

“Julia, turn that down. If you’re too shy to ask me to stay just…”

She sings along,
“As free as the wind blows, As free as the grass grows…” .

“Fine! I’m leaving, I just thought that…”

And louder still,
“and life is worth living, but only worth living cause you’re born free “.

I sent her a text message when I got home.
“I miss you already sweetie”
and she wrote back,
“I have your library card.”

Which I’m pretty sure is 18-year-old for “I miss you too mom, you’re the best”.