So…
I went to a dinner party not that long ago and I have to say, it was one of many that found it’s way to the conversation of sex and how women felt they just weren’t getting enough of it. Some who hadn’t had any in months, others who hadn’t had any in YEARS, all of whom who were in committed relationships and/or even married.
But…
I thought men were supposed to be insatiable horn-dogs that wake up every morning with raging hard-ons and chase their wives around relentlessly all day and night, trying to get some action. I thought it was the wives who were too busy washing their hair and getting headaches, driving their poor husband’s to have torrid affairs with their secretaries, nannies, pool boys etc…
What if it’s not true, has this society imposed cliché actually done nothing more than smother men’s libidos with the pressure to be sex obsessed perverts and create insecure self doubting, crazy-making wives/girlfriends?
I think that most of us suffer from the odd drought from time to time and I think we might all be a little bit to blame. I think we are tired and lazy and I think that even when we are aroused, many of us think about sex and follow that thought up with…
but then I’d have to move or…shower.
It’s so much easier to effortlessly sink a little deeper into the couch and watch another episode of Mad Men. It’s kind of like having sex anyway isn’t it?
As I have mentioned in the past, I also think we expect a little much from our partners at times. I for one have been shocked by the surprise that sometimes it takes more than simply being female and laying in the bed next to a guy to get the fireworks going.
But some ladies are genuinely making an effort, they have stopped wearing granny panties and bought some real lingerie and still aren’t seeing results. They have coquettishly but fruitlessly flirted, sprained their eyelashes, hinted, suggested and possibly even begged.
So here’s the thing. If I’m stumbling on an average of 75% percent of non-single women who range from peckish to sexually starving, there has to be about a bazillion others out there and they need your help.
I don’t mean the kind of help that you can get from any issue of Cosmopolitan either.
Light candles and put on Barry white isn’t real advice and neither is turn off the T.V.
What do you do when your guy is more interested in his laptop than your lap dance? how does one reignite the spark when it has faded or died out
completely?
And men please! I know you’re reading this. Leave your comment anonymously if you’re shy, but please feel free to leave one just the same. Go on now, enlighten the ladies.
*But people please, no comments about how your man is a multi-orgasmic love stallion who gives it to you 10 times on a slow day. Nobody cares, nobody believes you and you may unnecessarily cause some women to file for divorce or at least get so drunk this afternoon that they forget to pick up the kids from school so zip it.
alright at Jen’s beckoning I am leaving this advice to those of you with
problems having sex… with your partner or whoever really
Smile get dressed up and walk out the front door. Yelling I am going to be late don’t wait up. You have to be missed before you are wanted or needed. Lingerie is for you (us). Personally I am all for high heels tight skirts, push up bra’s, stockings, fishnets, no make up though I feel like a clown..but if you feel hot with red lipstick on and the rest of that stuffe DO IT. It’s about you not him it’s about how you feel. Oh he’ll notice especially when he see’s your ass in that tight skirt swishing out the door…or jeans.. are your getting my point.. go out create a little fun have a little fun, create a wee bit of..or make a couple of off the wall suggestions about what he could do to you in bed… Playing Barry white is when you clean the bathroom and you have to sign in your deepest voice in to your mop, and candles ..well ladies those are for dripping wac on your belly or anywhere else you would like it… oh one more suggestion for the literary or artistic man… have him write poem on your back…must go now my 16 yr old son is boncing aroun me starving more than likely
well this probably isn’t what you were asking for. But i listened to this and found some of it valid and interesting.
http://vimeo.com/8939896
Liz,
“Smile get dressed up and walk out the front door. Yelling I am going to be late don’t wait up.”
Best advice!!!!!
Teresa,
I checked out your link to “The #1 Factor That Causes Men To Pull Away” and OH MY GOD…
I’m a man!
Desperate = turnoff.
Being the hard-to-reach hottie is fab advice!
.-= Wombat Central´s last blog ..The Tooth Fairy Flies at Midnight =-.
I watched the video posted above — I find this kind of thing interesting, very interesting, I even watched the secret number 3..how to make a man fall in love with you by saying NO! I couldn’t finish it.
I am tired of explanations of why men walk away and how our brains are different..of course I am different, I am a woman and they are men. If a man walks away then we must swallow that bitter pill and let him go. Any plans schemed up to get him back or keep him will mean you are living and sleeping next to a very unhappy person. This, in turn, means you will be unhappy too. Getting a man to love you because you said NO — why would I pretend? If I say no to a man I mean no, go away leave me alone. If I say yes it’s yes. If a man loves me because I said no then I am going to think he’s a wee bit mentally ill not to mention annoying. I would like to be loved for who I am and if i say yes on the first date or the 7th then that’s my choice and sorry now that I have hit middle-age and I think that this is true for a lot of people men and women we know what we wan and who we want to do it with. BTW now that I am middle-aged people don’t ask me if I am married anymore, they ask me if I am divorced — the answers No to both
We talked about this at church the other day. The main consensus was that most of the congregation was either too embarassed to talk to their spouse about the need for sexual wholeness or too tired or too… fill in the blank.
My pastor said there are no excuses- married or single to ignore your sexual health.
For me, I had to divorce myself of the idea that men don’t want foreplay. Isn’t that nutty! I was sort of raised that men wanna get to the “good stuff” …. so for me, taking time to learn what kind of foreplay my husband likes is the best thing I could do for our sex life- after that… I soon realized maybe I am the sterotypical man, because some days I just want to get down to business- forget cuddling!!!
.-= Jasmine´s last blog ..Homebirthing Part 2 =-.
I’ve been having this conversation a lot lately, with both women and men. Here are my deviant thoughts.
1: Sex for men is 100% about confidence; the more confident your man is the better the sex is period.
2: Say it with me out loud, “90% OF ALL MEN THINK THAT THEIR DICKS ARE TOO SMALL.” The number one joke/pun that guys tell in the locker room, around the office, jogging, surfing, eating dinner, no matter what we’re doing, if there is a group of guys we’re telling dick jokes. We’re grabbing the insides of our thighs to mimic large bulges, we’re amending every comment about something large with, “That’s what she said,” and we’re all shaking in our boots that our manly endowments are not up to par with what our wives and or girlfriends expect.
Men are on to the fact that size matters and they’re terrified by it. The conundrum is threefold, we don’t know how big is big enough, we’re constantly seeing foot long dong in porn and we like to play king of the vagina. So, chapter one, paragraph one, opening sentence, make your man feel like his dick is made of gold with diamond encrusted balls. Did you marry someone with a 5 inch penis? Make him feel like it’s the biggest thing you’ve ever seen in your life and your vagina will thank you for it. Subtlety is where it’s at, next time you’re lucky enough to have that thing sliding inside you, scream a little, not too much, too much screaming is annoying, but scream just a little and say, “Gimme that big dick!”
3: You don’t have to be a super model: A girl I dated recently was complaining to me about her ex boyfriend, “All he ever wanted to do was watch porn and drink. He never fucked me and would leave me in bed all night alone while he masturbated and got drunk.” I don’t think there’s any way to upload a picture here or I would show you what this girl looks like. She’s a 10 on most guy’s standards. Uber thin with DD breasts, carmel skin, nut brown hair, and soft eyes (funny coincidence, she just texted me).
So what’s her problem? She was prudish, reserved and liked to be in control. Some guys want to be dominated, most guys don’t. Don’t be ashamed of your body. Everyone gets old and flabby, keep things open, try new things and d the things that you man wants, i.e. “the nasty stuff.” I would much rather have sex with a girl who was not that good looking and completely slutty than an uber hot girl with her head up her ass. Don’t dominate your men unless you get it from them that they like it!
4: Be the slut: Here’s a snippet from a conversation I had a few month ago with my neighbor, “She’s pissed off because I never fuck her at night. I fuck her in the morning, I fuck her in the afternoon. She gets it twice a day and when it comes night time, I’m tired and we’ve had a couple of drinks and I just feel like passing out.” Alcohol is the enemy of hard penis. Nobody wants to go to a party with whiskey dick, he can’t dance cause he’s got no rhythm. However, there is always a change to bring out whiskey dick’s nemesis: super slut. As my friend and I went on, he said, “You know, if she wanted to perve out and be do some super hot stripper thing or nurse game, maybe I’d be into it. I mean, I’m the one who has to show up with the boner.”
5: Guys aren’t really as heartless as you think: If your relationship sucks, the sex is going to suck. Take care of your man. Take care that when you fight and you argue that you’re not cutting him down. If there is a behavior that sucks, attack the behavior, not the man. Because if you attack the man, how is he supposed to be the night in shining armor in the bed room? If you’re tearing your partner down all the time, he’s not going to want to please you. Work on a better relationship and if all else fails get a ball gag and a pair of hand cuffs, put in the gag, cuff yourself to the bed and tell him you’re not getting up until you’re properly fucked. Wait, scratch that, get the ring gag that keeps your mouth open
i did warn that some of the crack the code was silly.lol.
I’m not really for manipulating people. But then again i’ve said yes too soon and too many times in my life and it’s not really working for me either.lol.
Anyhow just wanted to say i enjoyed everyone’s advice and comments and thought they were all helpful. If i was having a relationship and sex,sigh.
IMO – Could be timing…how & when men R turned on is different than women. Sometimes a guy gives up waiting for the “right moment” when she’s interested. We get tired too.
.-= Dave´s last blog ..Orgies: why I like them & what they mean to me =-.
So excited you are back on TheBrokins.com. YOU were by far one of my favorite commenters!
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