The Jennifer June Street Team

Re: Yesterday’s Post

Excellent advice from a brilliant friend.

Meredith: Don’t fire you. An Olympic anything would probably be too muscly. What you need to do is promote yourself and delegate more.

Me: You’re brilliant. What I need are worker bees. And also, I agree about the muscle thing. Who wants to look at that all day?

Meredith: Better yet, a stagaire – with the vague promise of MAYBE getting to be you one day. (As long as they don’t work out too much)

Meredith is a GENIUS!!

I need to start delegating immediately.

I don’t think one intern is going to cut it though. I probably need a whole crew.

I’m going to need somebody to go to work for me every day.

I need a pet/plant-sitter.

I’m going to need somebody to keep the house clean and make nutritious well balanced vegan breakfasts, lunches, and suppers for my family.

I will also need a singer songwriter, a burlesque performer, an actress and a novelist to fulfill my life long career dreams.

I’ll also be hiring an army of high energy teen-wranglers, well versed in the art of negotiation, discipline, and insult deflection. Immunity to eye rolling, huffing and puffing, clucking and “tsk”ing and asset.

I’ll probably need a small computer-savvy social media networking team to update my blogs, facebook, twitter etc…

This team will also be responsible for commenting on all my favourite blogs, updating my amazon wish list, re-posting controversial celebrity gossip articles and cute baby animal pics, photoshopping my head onto photos of chicks with hot bodies, world travellers on vacation and goat farmers and facebook-stalking my ex-boyfriends their new girlfriends.

That should do it. With all my new found freedom I should finally be able to spend a little me-time; doing the things I have been neglecting for years now like practice the violin, take Italian classes, exercise, meditate, shower etc…

Why didn’t I think of this years ago?

Jennifer June

You’re Fired

Despite the obvious fame and fortune that comes with both single-parenting and blogging, I don’t actually seem to have any money.

I know. You’re all reeling in shock. I’ll give you a minute.

It’s weird because I work 45234525362564 hours a week and I’m so tired I can’t see straight and don’t seem to have 5 minutes to myself ever – yet there’s no money in the bank.

It’s a little distressing and certainly makes luxuries like diamonds, an in-ground pool, and taking the kids to the dentist out of the question for the moment but I’m working on it.

On top of my day job, I have a couple of part time jobs to try and supplement my income a little.

One of these jobs I’ve only had for a few months, during most of which I had this nagging suspicion that one of my supervisors does like me.

Since that’s clearly impossible because – Who in their right mind wouldn’t be head over heals in love with me – I decided that I was being paranoid and weird and tried to push away the negative thoughts that were feeding my suspicion.

But… weird things kept happening, this supervisor kept blocking me when I was trying to get things done. She kept creating paperwork for me designed to monitor my every breath during working hours. She would book meetings with people that I had told her that I had scheduled meetings with – making me look unprofessional and clueless when I showed up only to find she had already been there.

Then there were the missing paychecks that I was assured were sent to me and told to “Check your mailbox again” that either wouldn’t show up or would show up post-marked and dated the day AFTER she told me “It was sent to you two weeks ago” etc…

But I kept on,

“Jen, you’re being paranoid. Why would she be trying to push you out? She hired you after all I mean… You’re probably just stressed.. tired… crazy…”

Just before Christmas it had gotten to the point where I was ready to hand in my resignation because it just wasn’t worth the couple of dollars a week it was bringing in.

But I decided to reflect over the holidays instead of being impulsive.

Upon reflection I decided to get re-railed, focused and put the energy into doing an amazing job until my contract was finished in the spring – Not letting my supervisor’s weird behaviour to get to me.

But instead. I received a phone call from said supervisor informing me that I was fired.

Effective immediately.

I simply responded,

“I understand. Thank you for calling.”

Part of me was relieved.

All the appointments and upcoming tasks (for that particular organization) in my agenda could be deleted – just like that.

That was a breath of fresh air – right there.

Also, as of that very moment I would no longer have to hold myself accountable to somebody I felt was sabotaging my efforts.

Another big breath.

But still, my ego was a little bruised feelings were a little hurt.

I have NEVER in my life EVER been fired from anything EVER.

I’m not going to pretend that I was doing an amazing job.

I wasn’t.

I could have worked much harder.

But at the same time, It was hard to stay motivated while being micromanaged by somebody who wouldn’t even send me the contact information for the people she wanted me to call, or who was lying to me about my pay, or who was making me look like a fool in front of my peers.

I know it’s immature of me to react to that stuff or point fingers to justify my lack of enthusiasm.

But I’m immature that way.

My contract cancellation letter arrived in the mail a couple of days ago, without my T4 and without my severance pay – surprise!

One of the reasons stated for the termination of contract was “There was a lack of initiative, commitment and motivation on your part.”

This got me thinking.

I think it would be fair to say that there is a general lack of initiative, commitment and motivation on my part in most aspects of my life.

How awesome would it be if I could fire myself?

Hear me out.

What if I could hire somebody else to replace me?

Preferably somebody who sleeps nights or tolerates narcotics better than I do. Somebody with boundless energy and self-worth who doesn’t suffer from insecurity induced paralysis. Somebody who trusts their gut instead of crazy-making perhaps…

A background as a costume designer/professional dancer or Olympic athlete would definitely count as an asset and somebody with a buddy pass (or 4 so I could bring the kids) with an airline (or a sugar daddy) so we could take a well needed vacation would also be worth consideration.

A part-time dentist is an instant hire. Cloee’s been gnawing on whole cloves for 3 days now.

And I PROMISE I will never ever overstep by showing up at their meetings or do their work for them or exert even an ounce of energy creating more work for them to do.

Promise.

Of course the pay and benefits would be the exact same as what I get for being me now so…

Any takers?

Jennifer June

To Nantes With Love…

So my man calls me on skype this morning and insists I turn the video camera on so he can see me – which is cute except for that I wasn’t expecting to be seen today.

My boss cancelled our meetings and I took advantage of the time to catch up on paperwork, clean my office and get some yoga in.

Franky: What’s wrong with your hair? Did you cut it?

Now… if I had I’m not sure how I would feel about being asked what is wrong with it.

Also, I didn’t know I was going to be called to the laptop for a glamorous skype appearance this morning or I might and that is a very weak and tiny might, have actually wiped the boogers out of my eyes and adjusted my hair elastic to the side a little. I may even (but probably not) have put on a bra.

It’s rare that I don’t look like a supermodel. It really is but this morning was one of those times.

I had a photo shoot this weekend and was going to send him a sneak peek at some of the sexier shots but that’s not who he misses.

It’s the real me he lays awake pining away for day after day, night after night of this long and tortuous European tour.

It’s the real Jen that he wakes up to in the mornings that he misses.

It’s the Jen he skypes without enough warning for her to fix her hair and potentially change out of her pyjamas before presenting herself that he longs for every waking moment that he is away, curled up in a ball in the corner of the studio, whispering my name as he strokes the side of his face with his hand, pretending it that it’s mine.

And honestly, what’s not to miss about this face?

Hot Suff

Or even this one really…


Glamour Puss

Honestly.

Jennifer June

O Noir

It looks closed from outside, I thought, or like a private underground swingers sex club. The windows are blacked out so you can’t see inside.

I wondered for the first time if I would be stricken with anxiety once inside. In my enthusiasm I  had neglected to consider the possibility when agreeing to the reservation.

Mary and I were greeted by cheerful staff in the fully lit lobby/bar area.

“There is a coat rack for your jackets and the rest of your belongings can go in a locker right there behind you.”

Yeay lockers! Hands free in the event that I should lose my balance… or need to flail them in state of utter panic.

We placed our orders before entering the dining room.

We were greeted by a blind waiter who instructed us to place a hand on his left shoulder and form a train this way.

I placed a hand on Mary’s left shoulder and possibly my other hand on her other shoulder… or wrapped around her waist. Or maybe that was my legs. It’s a little foggy…

We were led through a door and a black curtain into the absolute dark.

I was relieved by all the chatter, laughter and slinking and clanking of glasses and utensils.

On the way to our table the waiter inquired as to whether or not we need to use the washroom before seating us side by side.

We could hear another couple across from us so naturally I kicked a foot out in front of me to see if they were at the same table.

Why ask when you can maim and judge distance by the volume of one’s cries of pain?

But instead a voice quiet suddenly instructed from somewhere just above my right shoulder:

“In front of you there is a place mat. To the right a knife. Just above your knife is where I placed your water. On the left side of your place mat is a napkin. Next to that your forks and just above your forks your glass of wine. If you need anything just call my name. It’s Mathieu.”

I felt my table up like a nervous teenager fumbling hesitantly for a button or a zipper… or a bra clasp.

“And here are your appetizers ladies”

But nothing visibly appeared before me.

Me: “Getting a bit of an Emperor’s New Clothes vibe here…”

I’m not going to lie. While Mary stabbed the empty areas of her plate with her fork, I groped my tomato mille feuille, shovelled what I could onto my fork with my fingers and ate the rest of it with my hands.


Voice in the dark:
“Does anyone need to use the bathroom before sitting down?”

Mary:
“We’re fine thank you!”

Me: “I don’t think he was talking to us… I think it’s a pre-seating ritual or something…”

Conversation feels different in the pitch black. For a few reasons. One of which being that you can’t count on facial expressions or body language to ornament your vocabulary.

Mathieu:Would you care for desert ladies?

Mary:I would, I’ll have the cake please. Jen? Desert?

. . . .

Mary: “I can’ tell if she’s nodding can you?”

Mathieu: . . . .

Me: “Oh! I am! I’m nodding. Yes please. I’ll have the sorbet”

There were chunks of fruit in the sorbet that I couldn’t recognize, despite dissecting it with tongue, my teeth, my fingers and calling on all of my senses. It was amazing because the taste and textures were bringing back memories that I couldn’t quite identify. It was strong enough that I knew that I had eaten this fruit many times but couldn’t for the life of me name it.

There were sounds to get used to in the room, like the melodic droning of the word attention (in french), which I assume is called by waiters carrying food but it was quiet and strangely soothing.

One sound or sight that was missing, much to my elation, was that of cell phones, as they are strictly forbidden in the dining room, as are any other objects that might give off any light.

While there where certainly adjustments to be made, after about 20 minutes I had forgotten almost entirely that we were in the dark.

Me: “I know it’s silly but I really want to tell the waiter that I need to go to the bathroom. . Not that I have to, just that I want to see what it’s like.”

A few minutes later Mathieu (bless him) was leading our mini-train to the dimly lit ladies room.

I was secretly hoping it would be black in there too but I imagine it wouldn’t be worth the potential panic (or the clean-up) of some of the customers.

The food was tasty and energy in the room really cozy. In fact, Mary and I both regretted leaving so quickly after we had finished eating and wondered why we had.

Next time (and there will definitely be a next time) I’ll stay for at least another glass of wine.

If you haven’t had the O Noir experience, I enthusiastically urge you to go.

Jennifer June